Yo skay I heard you like ships shipping ships so I got you a ship shipping ship shipping shipping ships

I’ve always thought of the Prius as a niche vehicle but this is ridiculous.

Yes they do make every movie better.

Yes, it basically feels like 21 Jump Street on motorcycles. But I’m completely OK with that.

An UBER POOL of blood or just a normal one?

Looks like the Lexus grille wearing a bicycle helmet.

it’s the only type of car his tiny hands feel at home in.

I know this is fake, but it is all I could think of as soon as you mentioned breathalyzers:

Lutheran or Canadian?

“I’ll just be over here doing doughnuts in this parking lot until you decide” - CTS-V Wagon

I know that this site is made up of a commentariat of Gawker network participants who gobble up any anti-Trump rhetoric they can without any foresight or hindsight

Julio’s Grandfather: “In America, you can make your dreams come true. Gold is in the streets, my boy - you will see!”

Great work, Ballaban. Really tremendous stuff. However, I must say that you left out the most crucial dramatization of nuclear war that currently exists on the Internet.

Oops I guess that was Tavarish. I dont know why I thought Doug wrote it. Maybe because it sounded like it was written by a criminally insane person.

22 Chrysler Lebarons.

You don’t kick babies off flights because they can’t help it. They are absolutely right to kick belligerent and obnoxious passengers off a flight.

Agreed. I can’t stand Trump but I’m not about to be a hypocrite and act like a raving asshole like him if I run into his family.

Jabba will be covered in the “wretched hives of scum and villainy” segment of episode 16.

Yeah, I really can’t get with the subtle slagging on people who want to be optimistic or try to make positive changes in their life. Even if the result is someone who is annoying sappy, that’s not really something I want to discourage people from trying to do.