Chuck really wishes he had that type of colon control.

You may not accuse me of racism, sexism, blah blah-ish without asking me for my point of view first. I may or may not choose to give it to you.

He has definitely shit the bed on more than one occasion. Whether any of his fetid, discolored excrement oozed down his sheets on to the floor below is anyone's guess.

Stop stealing videos from UEFA.

The truth is that you're never gonna avoid embarrassment at that age, because you're so easily embarrassed. One bad text will ruin your shit for days. You have to get out there and experience a shitload of personal humiliation before it finally dawns on you that it's really not that big of a deal. And then the more…

Also: Eric Bledsoe is really fucking good.

But Griffin was on his old stuff last night, hurtling himself around in the paint and showing the Suns front court what it feels like to have to guard a very violent rhinoceros.

Are you worried that the first sentence is going to make things a bit awkward between you and your notebook?

It's the least the NHL can do to honor his lifetime devoted to fighting Apartheid and all the years he spent in prison standing up for his beliefs.

Based on ESPN's track record, they probably thought Glazer's twitter account was fake.

Damn you and your journalistic integrity!

That before he dated Ali, he dated a girl named Madison Bumgarner ("No relation, I'm sure of it").

Kanter then trotted over to the stands to retrieve his mouthguard. Meanwhile, the Kings won in a walk. Shannon Sharpe looked on longingly.

America's Prince is not impressed by your "royalty," UK.

"As one of the world's best athletes, and an even greater person off the field, nobody is more deserving of this honor than Roger Goodell."

I think Sanchez is fine. If only the Eagles had a better running back. You know, one who is the genuine article, the whole package, the real Mc.....

Kind of gives "The Special One" a whole new meaning, doesn't it?

Bruins fans are always Subbantweeting that guy.

This is nice, but let's be honest, the block of my dreams is Barrow St. between Hudson and Greenwich.