I know nothing improves my customer service like being deeply sleep deprived.

I'm much too famous to know what that is.

oh. It looks a lot like the bubble tea in Box Hill to be honest, except that it has red beans on top instead of tapioca at the bottom. I don't have a problem with milky, blended green teas, I just find the idea of whipped cream sitting on top of non milk green tea unsettling. Could just be me.

Sleeping Beauty was raped. In the fairytale she didn't get woken by a kiss from her true love.

I would do some light maiming for Amy's necklace.

Bubble tea is different.

I was once jumping on a friend's trampoline when it ripped down the middle and suddenly I was standing on the ground with two halves of a trampoline around my shoulders.

One hot Summer day when we were kids we begged my aunt to let us play with the hose. She was all 'Yeah, fine whatever, how much damage can they do playing with the hose'.

Well if you will buy your coffee in Collingwood. I think a Ned Kelly beard will suffice pretty much everywhere else.

It's best not to engage us on the topic, we immediately become insufferable, like that aunt who just wants you to find Jesus.

Have we ruled out the associate being bored and deciding to fuck with Texans? Having worked in retail I have to say that would be some top drawer messing with the customers in the name of 'policy'.

That's just cruel. You have to have had your tastebuds dissolved by that stuff in childhood to enjoy it and even then there may be an element of Stockholm involved. It shouldn't be given to the unsuspecting. Unless they are children because how else will they learn?

I think microcosm just means that it's more dense than cappuccino froth. I have never heard the term before, but that's what it is.

Australians are terrible coffee snobs.* The cackling delight taken in watching Starbucks go out of business because they had the temerity to open in the heart of Coffeesnobville really suggested that we have some deep issues. That said, I went into a Starbucks once and they were selling green tea with whipped cream…

Or less than 92% were Christian.

They really just pick a letter of the alphabet and go with it don't they?

Yes but isn't it a requirement that if there is an allergy involved they have to sterilise the kitchen in case there are traces of onions from a previous order? Since allergies can kill someone it's not just taking the time to make it from scratch, it's stopping everything else going on the kitchen to sterilise…

I like Jane Tyrell and the Hilltop Hoods have been around forever on the Australian music scene. As long as what she wants to do is Aussie Hip Hop instead of trying to copy or rip off an American sound and culture I have no problem with it. Plus she writes her own and and hasn't said anything racist. She, much like…

The opinion writers at The Age can be a little...curmudgeonly at times :) As far as I am aware both Fitzroy and Flagstaff gardens still have public toilets even if they are not to the author's architectural taste. He is right that there was an increase in those creepy self cleaning toilets a few years ago. They're…

In Australia they're everywhere and free, usually maintained by local councils. You can even buy city maps or use a free app that will tell you where they are so you aren't caught out. I always assumed they were a basic provision until I went to Europe. As long as they are maintained and kept well stocked, which they…