My cat went out and killed dozens of mice, took a class and the learning annex to learn to ‘sew like a seamstress’, made himself a fur death coat and totally rubs it in all the slacker cats faces. He has no use for Oprah.

Not to brag or anything, but my dog already has her own REAL fur jacket.

This is also on her list, I know I am not the only one thinking it....

I don’t get it. Do I want to get it?

For $300? You should get all that for you AND a friend. And your mom.

lol for some reason i thought it didn’t post, so i re-posted, but with correct grammar. does correcting my own grammar make me even older? :)

also, i’m not gonna spend $400 on one totally impractical and unwearable for everyday thing from h&m. i’m just not

look at this fucking punch bait.

It surprised me that “killing” as a slang term is so old.

who the fuck wants to go up against adele?

If the VS panties were comfortable and fit me, i’d probably still wear them. However, as a 5’4” 127 lb woman with an hour glass figure, that shit doesn’t fit me. I wear a size 6 in a dress and an 8/10 max down below. But everything is wide. Nothing fits. Or it fits, but I look like a sausage that is escaping the…

That deepest of introspection filled with the possibilities of actualization... Followed by that creeping up of the pounding brain drum, the measuring of what’s left and the realization that this ain’t gonna end well...

I remember when I used to blow so much money in VS when I was living beyond my means. Now when I’m like I really need new underwear and I go to buy a pack of Hanes I’m like 9 bucks?!? Really Target. OMG underwear are expensive. Nevermind I used to drop like $25 on 5 pairs like it was nothing and here I am complianing…

12 likes is so many likes. I got like two likes for saying a sunset was gross. Maybe my instagram is... too real.

and his layer.

Did you just decide to delete your social media empire Jia

I lawled so much and now I want your instagram.

im crying

i used to take a ton of adderall to study for a test or write a paper and instead spend 6 hours writing FB and livejournal rants just like this