this is fucking delightful

"I could go iron now. For days. I love to iron."

YES HOMO

i have a vicious crush on jon stewart

I know people who would pay good money for Strip wrestling between those two.

Hey, this is head and shoulders better than Adam Levine. By light years, fucking light years.

Was screaming "Tom Hiddleston was robbed!!!!" before I even started reading this article. It's ok. 2015 will be quite a Hiddles-filled year. He's got at least 3 movies coming out.

This is the best. Thank you so much.

As it were.

That's what I was thinking! I've been waiting all this time to hear about the size of Mark's testicles!

Hmmm. I've always referred to my own set as "Moses and the Israelites", spoken in the voice of Yul Brynner.

You should write a weekly scary auntie post because she sounds amazing

Yes, I enjoyed this gem from a priest quoted in the original Cosmo article:

I just realized Ursula PROBABLY uses Flotsam and Jetsam as dildos, and a piece of my innocence died.

These people could care less if a fetus is brought to delivery or not. They are busybodies who have found a cause to attach to that allows them to be both self-righteous and vile.

But once the children are born, fuck them. Fucking freeloaders. Hey, six month old baby—get a fucking job and pay your taxes!

Whelp now I want a hotdog.

Best of both worlds. Yes there is a book called dancing with cats and yes perhaps I do own said book.

My cat Chicken eats paper. And styrofoam. And cigarettes. My cat is either really dumb or a brilliant survivalist.

My cat also hates paper. Here is Fred eating my class notes.