You can use FMLA for things other than new children—sick spouse or parents. But it still doesn’t get you paid.

I thought William H Macy.

Those are pretty much my glasses. I only have one cat, though.

My roommate, as I call her, has recently lost her vision. I have moments where I start to worry about how much longer she’ll be around and what that means. And then I snap myself out of it and remind myself that all that it means right now is that I can’t leave shit laying in the middle of the living room floor.

I think that’s a great lesson that we learn as we continue to grow up—friends fit into different categories and it’s okay to have some shitty friends as long as you know they’re shitty.

Yeah, this douchecanoe friend of my dude’s is apparently horribly sexist. My dude is not, so I can put up with him hanging out with douchecanoe knowing that after he detoxes a little bit he’ll be back to normal.

My parents are the same. My dude doesn’t really have any friends—he’s super introverted and would rather just be at home writing his novel. That’s fine for him. He has no issues with me going out with my friends and being a more social person, though. I would like for us to do more things together with other people,…

I think it also says a lot if your SO acknowledges that his/her douchecanoe friends are douchecanoes. My dude has a friend from high school that, I hear thought I have not met, is a generally terrible person in some way. My dude continues the friendship knowing that and because some of it is entertaining. Douchecanoe…

We have early voting for like two weeks. Plus, you don’t have to go to one specific polling station—you can go to any one in the county.

My brother-in-law is one of these and it pisses my mom off. She has never not voted. My dad is an ex-con and had to jump through hoops to get his voting rights back and he sure as hell votes in every election now.

I still love her though.

This moment was everything.

My sister changed her name for her first marriage and changed it back after the divorce. For the second marriage they came up with a new moniker that is a simple combination of both their single-syllable last names. It does work really well for that purpose. But, in their case no one buys it because they got married…

It’s been announced that the divorce proceedings have been called off, so Khloe’s week is looking up.

But then what you do post on your pinterest???

Records of 911 calls are public information. You can call up the police or sheriff’s office and request those for any call. I can’t say that the Kardashians themselves are behind that move in this case, but you better believe that TMZ knows how all that stuff works.

He's wearing his pants pulled up over his belly, as opposed to under it. Like my 8th grade science teacher.

Selection definitely varies from store to store. The closest store to me is pretty basic, but the further store has a much more upscale feel and carries several different brands, including Lipstick Queen and Clinique.

I'm such a sucker for Sleek. If I could get buy stuff in person my bank account would cry.

God, the doxycycline is the best/worst. You HAVE to eat it with food in your stomach. HAVE to. But then don’t wait too long after eating. What I hate most about it is, for me, how instant the vomit came. When I was on a coarse of it I threw up in a restaurant once, at the table, in my salad bowl. And once I had to…