That’s the nice thing about grandkids. You think, “Oh, wait. I remember this part.” And, hopefully, you do it better the second time around. Or at least you fuck them up in a different way than you did their parents.

This is why I buy unroasted coffee beans, and just roast them before each cup with a Zippo lighter and a pair of tweezers.

 I’ve been reusing the same foil, ziptop bag with an air valve for months. I refill with beans from a paper package, squeeze out the excess air, and will keep the same package until you peel it from my cold, dead hands.

I am a teacher (High school math, formerly English and History), and I cannot find this amusing. I remember being 9 and getting mad when a teacher was wrong. Germany isn’t landlocked Mrs. Hampton!

I am probably 35 years older than this kid and don’t have half of his conviction.

Teacher: “King, I am very disappointed in your journal today.”

MUST. FIND. SOMETHING. TO. POINT. OUT. TO. PROVE. MY. SUPERIOR. INTELLECT. OVER. YOUUUUUUUUUU

Plus you have admire an eighties action movie where the score is mainly steel fucking drum orchestration. That was a brave, brave choice.

Props to the dude with the camera. His narration really takes this vid over the top.

I was 17 and at GF’s house. Her father asked to see one of my sneakers. Being 17 and dumb I gave him one. He instantly matched it to the print on their Ford Maverick’s ceiling.

You see, this is the sort of context that would put your tale over the top.

This is championship level, both in the tale and the telling.

This is my new favorite gif

We regret to inform you the duck is racist.

The keychain link goes somewhere else. Could we get the correct link?

What’s your point? Customers don’t know or care about the details of your specific POS system. That’s the owner/manager’s problem. The places with those “fakeass” waiters are maybe just doing this part better than your bosses.

The dude getting kicked to the curb is common sense of course, but the “i’ve stopped having sex” makes sex look really transactional, which i thought was just an ugly stereotype on women. As if women dont have natural sex drives of their own, but there is a little check box next to it of “am i getting sufficient…

That's why you stick to king crab legs and claws.