Raji brings up a good question. I mean, I think it’s a terrible question, and that he is a terrible human being, but I’ve heard enough people answer otherwise that makes me think I’m the crazy one:

I was a kid living outside Houston during the Bills 4 superbowl run, and the Bills were my favorite team on Super Tecmo bowl. I became a fan and stuck with them, married the first girl I met from Buffalo (who’s dad has season tickets), and now am raising two young boys who are plastered with Bills decals half the…

Whenever I knocked on my parents’s door late at night growing up, they said I couldn’t come in because they were “watching Johnny Carson.”

Or let’s not use stats at all. Eyetest! Grit! Hustle!

Why, it’s almost as though he’s a giant piece of sweaty shit without any redeeming value to society or the planet at all!

Counterpoint: this problem is very happy and makes me very happy.

Dwight Howard is an insufferable manbaby, and also one of the very best players in the NBA (still, somehow).

Ivanka insisted that when it comes to families and female leadership, Donald Trump is actually “a tremendous champion.”

I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING!

i don’t like being made aware that i am also technically alone (ie: not married) and child-less and old, and i also like to point out to anyone how stupid their vote for trump was.

Do you mind if I leave this link here: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/obamas-barrage-of-complete-sentences-seen-as-brutal-attack-on-trump

I MISS HIM SO MUCH IT LITERALLY HURTS.

*checks calendar*

Uhm, excuse me? Im still waiting for my coke?

This is so beautiful an image I may weep.

Fair enough, but some of us didn’t even know he had one of these things. This makes me want to gas up my shitty old car and head west with a sack full of rubber dog turds and a can of industrial adhesive.

i steal tp from everywhere.

Oh please shut the government down over this.

His name is Bart.

Don’t. Ever. Tweet.