Once this kid’s mother sees this, she’s going to come to the sad realization that there’s no keepers in this family.

Not many people have the courage to boast about being part of the problem. Well done.

Definitely not enough whiskeys with names that sound like the gutteral yammerings of a drunk Scot.

I know I’m a snob when I see Jameson and Jack and think these guys wasted a non-insubstantial part of $300,000 on some pretty pedestrian whiskey.

Both chuck toys haphazardly around the field, yet fake-peter man gets thrown in jail while Nate Peterman is starting on Sunday. 

yea, why can’t he work a meaningless desk job for thirty years and die of a heart attack like the rest of us!

Donald Trump Jr looks like the villain in a movie where the hero is a Golden Retriever 

Financial planners.

Dave Grohl and his classic rock band the Foo Fighters

Dave Grohl and his classic rock band the Foo Fighters

Dave Grohl and his classic rock band the Foo Fighters

Thanks Beth, your article serves as journalistic lodestar to the rest of this nation.

I wish I could find that tweet again that basically said, “let’s not lament all the famous fuckwads whose careers are now ruined because they couldn’t keep their dicks to themselves. Let’s lament the art that never got created because the people who wanted to make it got silenced by these fuckers. They had their shot,…

You’re right, my Monday could have been worse: I could have been living in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

Best X-Men movie. (As much as I loved Logan, I don’t quite consider it an X-Men movie.)

When sword fighting, start with your right hand. Then switch to your left hand to throw off your opponent.

Best final stage? American Gladiators (original) or GTFO. Just an endless barrage of semi-fit people getting mutilated by the best of 1980's roid rage.

-No love for The Temple Run in Legends of the Hidden Temple?!?!?!

I thought this was going to be a story about LeBron and Tom Brady eating at a Greek taverna.  

I think you meant to say “liberals will most certainly feel saddened by this due to their ability to empathize.”