Vote: Swiftkey

it's super effective!

Note: if anyone has any The Big Lebowski comments to make, please go cram it. The movie's been out for like 15 years. We've seen it. Carry on.

Note: I also disagree that a White Russian is a "wimpy" or "lame" drink to order. They're goddamn delicious. Carry on.

Note: No, I don't why the bar was out of cream. Poor logistics management, I guess? Carry on.

Note: this explanation assumes said White Russian was made with whole milk instead of cream. Carry on.

Note: this joke assumes drink in question was a White Russian. Carry on.

What do you expect? He wasn't about to cry over it.

"DAMNIT, now everyone is going to think it's so goddamned easy!!"

You had the benefit of no pressure and unlimited time, and your noisy insect was frog?

Shaquille,

Those last 14 paragraphs really snuck up on me.

the minus is due to the fact that the paper was supposed to be about the Outkast song.

This list is so fucked Derek Jeter keeps trying to give it a gift basket.