You don’t WANT to salt the snail, but he forces you! You have no choice!

I’m comfortable saying the Cardinals are really meaningfully worse than the Patriots.

We need a write-in option here.

And he DEFINITELY fucks.

Um, who is your healthcare provider? That’s amazing.

Um, who is your healthcare provider? That’s amazing.

I got a blowie during Happy Feet once.

I didn’t hold my pee, I got up three different times to go. I think something might be wrong with me.

Impossible. Dippin’ Dots are the ice cream of the future.

When does the $7 coupon get applied? I’m at the last step of purchasing with no sign of it.

When does the $7 coupon get applied? I’m at the last step of purchasing with no sign of it.

You’re wrong and you can go fuck yourself with a Boyz II Men boner, which is the only correction I have for this article.

You left off Complete Works.

How many other people read “coldclocking” as “cuckolding”?

The math adds up. 1994 was indeed 7 years before 2001.

My excuse for cheating is this: it works and in the grand scheme of things cheating at sports doesn’t matter.

Here in America you’re allowed to purchase alcohol the day after your 20th birthday. That’s a fact.

I do mine differently. Cut a hole in the top like you would a Jack-O-Lantern and scoop out the insides. You’ll leave very little of the fruit inside and are mostly turning this thing into a bowl with about inch thick walls. Dump in as much vodka as this thing will hold and let it chill in the fridge overnight. Next…

The 10 Comanningments

Guy makes $300 profit in 3 minutes at work; ask me how!

I guess that's the bottom line.