the same Jennifer Lopez who SWEARS in the most recent VF that she's had NO plastic surgery

Ahhhh...with the inclusion of the five foot banana detail, it all makes sense.

Oh, dear. I'm not sure I can deal with his funeral. It's on youtube? Really.

I had forgotten that the Joni-Mitchellesque puppet from the Dr Teeth band had a uvula.

I can't believe Linda would insult her daughter/sister/mother like that. Dammmmmn

a solomonic choice....

I know. I'm totally bummed out by this. I should be more adult and not care, but I'm not, and I do.

That happened to me but with Jameson's

All is revealed. Thank you, you big blueberry.

Is CandyBacon a Paula Deen recipe?

To all my friends in Jezland who have ever consumed Red Bull, which I have not:

It's also too much like Isabella. But then, as someone named Ivanka, an unusual name may seem overrated.

Dear Ivanka,

hasn't this exact thing happened before with the exact same defense?

Remember when she dated the black man and used embarrassing "jive"?

Dear Mr Affleck,

I think of that lady on the Taconic often. That story fucked me up.

"He's going to see your wanton past in the form of a herpetic lesion on your upper lip!"

Shiloh???

huh huh