Who's the douche who stole my bracelet?

I find that most of these funds are way too conservative. You are not pulling everything out at 65, most people will still have twenty years to ride out bumps in the market.

Can anyone recommend a good tracking app for a jailbroken iPhone?

I want some of these in high res for my desktop or to print out.

On the plus side, when you figure out how ugly it is, you haven't invested much money in it.

LED lights would work great

On the other hand

Can you still load apps from the app store once you jailbreak?

There are plenty of refrigerators with glass shelves. As long as you leave some gaps, you'll be fine.

I always eat afterward, mostly because I don't want to give myself time in the morning to think up excuses why I can't exercise today.

The fruit/vegetable classification is silly. If it comes from a plant and is generally savory, it's a vegetable, sweet it's a fruit.

My Dad teaches a class at the senior center ever couple of months. Mouse navigation and double clicking are the thing he has the hardest time teaching. But the people he is teaching are 20 to 40 years older than your uncle.

tl;dr

Facebook suggests coworkers to me even though I never friend any coworkers.

Still noisy though

My dog had cancer, so I understand you pain. For the most part I agree with your wife, you are going to have to let him go at some point. Delaying that pain only makes the cat and you suffer more.

Rats are very crafty, I would worry about escape in a homemade solution

A rock. Seriously if you thought Bettas were high maintenance maybe you should look into getting a plant.

LaCie makes an excellent one that looks just like a key.

A weedwacker with a battery