All I remember of it is (a) Helen Hunt played the daughter and (b) an episode where she dates a punk rocker, which upsets her father until he finds out that the kid actually plays punk for money (ah, TV) and is really into jazz (they bond over Dave Brubeck).

I did. He died in 1986. If it makes you feel any better, he'd be 107.

Were you snorting the coke with a $100 bill or did the hookers off of whom you were snorting it (see, I have good grammar) have the $100? That makes a difference.

Quite frankly, it is your inherent prejudice. You see "Bears players" and the "other team's players." Jay Cutler, on the other hand, sees only "players." You should be ashamed.

Thorpe will give the eulogy with shiva to follow at Goldstein's.

Mohawk. Or, if you want to be really classy, Banker's Club. It has bankers in the name, so you can trust it

The late George Kennedy. Also Leon Isaac Kennedy, star of the "Penitentiary" series of movies.

You don't want to Mull pursuing your rights too much. You Kin Tyre of doing that.

I obsessed over that book as a kid. Similarly, I too would never have told anyone for fear of being branded a loser…turns out the book really wasn't the issue.

True story. At the time of the last episode of "Just Shoot Me," we were away with friends. The wife worked in research for NBC. I'm looking at the TV Guide (pre-smartphones, you whippersnappers) and I say, "Hey, the finale of 'Just Shoot Me' is on." The wife says "no that was cancelled a while ago." I show her the…

No, huh?

Keith Richards putting on a Robert Johnson is like a Victoria's Secret model wearing overalls. People will sleep with them in spite of their choices, but all in all you'd rather they'd have made better ones.

It's liberals who snowboard and do BMX tricks and stuff.

Taftest? As in William Howard? Which would be like fattest. So there you go.

The show is actually a drama focusing on eating disorders among the super-wealthy. As such, the casting of Katy Mixon, who is nowhere near fat, is a coruscating indictment of the messages our society sends women, and the trials and tribulations of women and girls in what would seem to be perfect homes. When you see…

Yeah, but one was total BS. She just fell down.

He spent fifteen years working for her family. It's like seeing what your old boss' kid is doing.

I'm pretty sure I saw "Pieces" and "Sleepaway Camp" in the same month in the theater. That's right you kids - you used to be able to see truly great crap like this in the theater. There was a theater near me - one of the last independent multiplexes - that would show slasher films, soft-core porn like "Malibu…

They've done studies. D.A.R.E. fails in the teen years. They said that when kids hear "x% of kids your age are doing drugs" and they're not, they think, "hey, I want to be part of the group!" Also, because they focus on hard drugs, they downplay alcohol and tobacco, so use of those rises.

Will they have the Latino Richard Masur? A Latino neighbor who works as a cocktail waitress? I guess what I'm saying is I'm old. And get off my lawn!