If Noah doesn’t want to support an organization that ruins young men’s lives then he shouldn’t have signed with the Knicks.

Like my hope is that Lady Gaga literally comes out on a jetpack powered by Doritos before Metallica rises out of a giant Goodyear tire and Pittbull comes out on a literal pitbul and they all play “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

That’s optimistic.

The car smells nice

I don’t root for anyone to be injured, but if it’s going to happen, I’m OK with it being this child-beating asshole.

That gif is horrifying, but I can’t look away. It’s gonna get real weird in a second when someone walks past my desk.

Fuck you guys.

Once shots were fired, however, the station quickly cut to Rudy Giuliani at a conference.

This is all very sad, because: Craig Sager is probably going to die. You’re not supposed to say or write things like that, because no one likes to be made to think about it. I hate that line of thought, because it’d be better for everyone if we could discuss cancer and illness and dying from a mature and candid…

You’ve really cut to the core of this issue Barry. Today is the day to do something meaningful because damn it, we may not have tomorrow.

“I like to bet on horses, I like to bet on dogs,” Sager told the Associated Press. “I’ve bet on a lot of things with a lot higher odds than this.”

This has zero to do with this post but I’m watching a documentary about Babe Ruth and it turns out he was shot in the leg in a bar by his mistress. So if you ever get the question what do Aqib Talib, Plaxico Burress and Babe Ruth have in common? The answer is they all suffered a gun shot wound to their leg in a bar.

WHY ISN’T YOUR HAND OVER YOUR HEART? DON’T YOU KNOW PEOPLE DIED FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO COMPETE IN THE OLYMPICS? WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA SO MUCH? IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT HERE YOU SHOULD JUST LEAVE!!!111 AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

I like his style, here is me winning a gold in Rio.

He looks like the rubber mask that nobody buys until it’s five minutes before the Halloween party you forgot about.

When we get our hands on that text message the NFL and the Hall of Fame have a serious, serious problem and we expect this to reach all the way to the top.

He said “so every other play didn’t end with a shredded ligament.” Why don't YOU try some reading comprehension?

Derek Jeter isn’t mowing fuck-all.

C'mon Drew, 100 bucks says Jeets has mowed a beav or two.

I can’t express how much I love that “The Patriots” we’re the second highest paid team for their tributes.