I hate to say it, but she is in way more danger when she leaves.

I’m noting that every commenter who does not believe that this equates to terrorism is male. There is such little fundamental understanding of what it is to be a woman and thus under constant threat of violence, here.

I think it remarkably apt. Especially given that this man perpetrated his violence against one class of civilians: women. Imagine if someone went around abusing only Jews, Muslims or Armenians. What would we call them, then?

I and a lot of women feel afraid when I read about men doing this stuff to women. Shit like this is why I walk fast through parking lots and try to be nice even when a guy is behaving in a sexually aggressive way such as catcalling. This shit is scary. It can happen to any woman if she trusts the wrong man. It’s…

domestic abusers want to scare women and put us in our place. it is absolutely terrorism. they want women to live in fear of the men in their lives.

This is the first time I heard the term and it really made me think. I think it applies perfectly, in that the intent is to instill fear and compliance in the target.

Thank you for pointedly articulating my reaction to these comments. At best they’re advocating for better language, at worst they’re insinuating that acts like this don’t profoundly impact people beyond the direct victims of the violence (i.e. children, families, other women in abusive relationships who are afraid to…

It also assumes that she would have already thought that he might come and harm her or her students in the school- I don’t think most people would just jump to that conclusion

The political aim is toxic hatred of women. And we’ve done enough soft selling of what amounts to extended torture and often hostage-taking and murder of women (and children), so often excused because she once slept with her torturer — or he wanted her to. It’s WORSE than random violence.

I think women could also worry about it getting back to the abuser...that would be one of my concerns.

People don’t understand why women who are victims of violence don’t report the crimes, or even if they do, they don’t discuss it openly with family/friends as to how bad it is/was/could be. 

In front of an entire class of children. One of whom died and another receiving serious injuries. This guy didn’t just kill a mother, grandmother and coworker. He also killed any feeling of safety for the students and staff at that school.

Well, you live in terror when you have a situation like this.

NO not at all. I think I would benefit from alone time too. I consider work my alone time which is the saddest thing I have ever said.

My bestie has 4 kids ranging from 16 to twin 6-year-olds. She got pregnant with the twins just a few months after I met her. I don’t have kids. Our entire friendship takes place in her kitchen or den. I always go to her house because it’s impossible for her to get away 99% of the time. Which is actually great. We make…

It is so much harder. I have really good friends living next door now and it’s practically making me giddy. I want to shout to the world that I have friends and they like me. Ahahaha.

In general, it’s hard as an adult with kids, careers, extended family obligations, and/or just life stuff (projects, vacations, dates with your spouse, just wanting some fucking downtime with no commitments, etc) to maintain friendships beyond messaging and the occasional phone call.

I have been called a bad mom because I do not take my kids to church.

But do you talk when you all pick your kids up?

I just had a friend in from NOLA and I had forgot how amazing it was to just lay around watching tv together with a friend! Another woman who isn’t my 1.5 year old or my husband.