Come on now. Kasich is a great man. He’s created a ton of jobs in Ohio, he loooooves pickles, he fears Jesus, and he is definitely not the Zodiac Killer.

I have a question. Actually, I have many questions. Why 51 bananas? Is your boyfriend a pedophile? Why not stop at 50 bananas? How can you consumer that much mushy food and not shit your pants after every sneeze? I have so many more...