Currently laughing and dying. Both at the pun and because Mr. Pie recently got gout! I didn’t even know that was something you could still get! And we’re pretty broke so it’s not like we were eating red meat 5 times a week. Down to just once a week now though there’s been no sign of it coming back.

At first I thought it was going to be Melissa McCarthy. That would have been much better than inviting this asshole onstage where he was clearly having the time of his life. Fuck him into eternity.

Ed Skrein, on the other hand, was willing to step aside. And you know Skrein needs the money way more than Hanks.

“Revelling in your eliteness is for strivers.”

Unfortunately it isn’t all that special. Looks like there are millions of them.

There is nothing more elite than pretending to not be elite. Revelling in your eliteness is for strivers.

not to put too fine a point on it, but when the beauty pageant contestants and the comedians are the ones calling out the racist and inflammatory rhetoric of our president and not, oh I dunno, OTHER GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS, then there seems to be something deeply amiss with our country

Is it possible the douche with the mic intentionally called the obvious girl a boy because he wanted to insult a kid wearing a hippie-dippy tie-dye t-shirt?

What about dad-anger? Does it offer any relief from dad-anger? Because if I step on one more fucking Lego, I swear to God I’m going to burst into flames.

I have someone hawking that shit on my feed. She’s so awful and smug about it, too.

I think your sister’s desire to have her kids form a relationship with their grandparents stems from her own desire for a ‘normal’ relationship with them.

“We never bonded emotionally, due to the superficiality of our connection, and most of my recollections of them are feelings of awkwardness - feeling like I should be closer, because grandparents, but not feeling close because of the distance my folks cultivated on purpose.”

As a gay person, I HATE DEMIS. They are the worst. They constantly yell over actually LGBTQ people while almost entirely consisting of cis, straight people.

Also: just a thought on the whole wanting-the-kids-to-have-some-relationship-with-their-grandmother thing. Why? What benefit is there to cultivating a relationship with toxic person? If you are able to manage it so that there is enough distance and superficiality in the relationship that the toxicity doesn’t get a…

There’s only so much necromancy can do.

Well, that’s what happens when you’re in debt up to your eyeballs on the devil’s Park Ave address and you violate the FCPA trying to dig yourself out.

Ol’ Jared’s looking a bit pasty and ghoulish in that photo. It’s the picture of Dorian Gray that supposed to look like shit, no?

I agree with Trump making MAGMA. Make magma flow all over the world until it is nothing but a burnt husk. Let the magma burn away all signs of man. Curse the magma as it marches across our lands. Watch the magma consume those that anger it, those that disobey it. This is the future we deserve.

I would like to imagine the average cop responding as thus, “Uh, who cares? They’re taking food, not TVs.”