Haha. The first boy I slept with instant messaged me afterwards and asked me "how many times" I came. It was just so grossly presumptuous, ESPECIALLY given how he hadn't done anything in particular to help make it happen.

There's no limit to how many times you can or should write "orgasm." :)

I made my husband think our baby was going to be a girl, when I knew I was having a boy.

Sometimes I feel like lies don't count as lies when the truth is nobody's business anyway.

My laundry pile is very, very sexy and now I'm very sexually aroused.

So this week I had all the testing done on my throat with the fun tube. Just FYI - 15 minutes of being poked in the sinuses with a tube is not a good time. But I found out that I probably don't have GERD after all (despite having been treated for it for years) and instead have no ability to swallow food. There was no…

Good evening, Jezzies! I hope everyone is having a great weekend.

What is going on in that gif? I've fallen in love with that scruffy man's goofiness. And scruff.

Right?

Lies? Fuck you. I will absolutely not let Ferguson go, nor should any of us. What happened there — both the murder, and the psychotically unhinged police reaction in the weeks and months that followed — was unconscionable.

Off topic, kinda. I used to work in a lab drawing blood. It was summer and the AC wasn't working properly. We were all slightly crabby and drenched in sweat. One day this fellow comes in and as I'm wrapping the elastic band around his are, I comment on his name—Robert E. Lee. He must have assumed my accent made me a…

What's really great is how he got that moniker.

When I went dress shopping I put on a dress and immediately thought, YES, THIS IS THE ONE. I walked out of the fitting room, beaming with excitement and the trio of ladies I brought with me (my mom, my godmother and my BFF) were like, meh. They didn't like the fit, they didn't like the color (metallic blush—like a…

I wrote an actual letter, not an open letter, to my ex's new girlfriend. She was a blogger and I found her site after an acrimonious exchange with my ex where he mentioned that she was a writer too. I read a number of her posts pertaining to him, including a few that specifically mentioned me, and I had an honest,…

Imagine time traveling to the year is 2009.

The only time I went to a strip club for my birthday, myself and a stripper talked about Marilyn Manson / various other metal groups for like 90 minutes and kept pounding beers together after my lapdance. She kept shooing other potential customers away. I'm not even sure why it happened. But it was a Tuesday, so maybe…

I never want to go to a strip club, ever. But I *need* to find out more etiquette from Emma. Like, how many lap dances are you supposed to order per, say, every hour? I would've thought one per hour per person was enough but now I know I'm being naive.

"seasoned clothing-optional gyration specialist." Nicely done Anna. I have a few ideas

Yeah, me too. It's interesting that so many of these responses imply that jerking in bed is something only a man would do. Umm, I did this yesterday. And two days before that. And like, three times last week.

I gotta hand it to you. At first i thought this story was fake and you were yanking me. So I flipped through it vigorously again and again until I finished and finally saw the truth come out.