I’ve had a thing for Seth for awhile. He’s cute, he’s funny, I hear he throws great parties, and boy can sang.

J.Lo is that friend who, after a break-up, says “I need to stop being a serial monogamist and date ME for a change!” and then moves in with a new guy a month later.

I think it wouldn’t be weird if I didn’t think him and rihana were getting married a month ago.

No. It’s going to be a mess of the highest order. She’s in love with love and while he thinks he wants a woman who is his better or equal, what he really wants are strippers and Instagram girls to tell hims he’s pretty and smart 24/7. We’re going to have to endure emo drake songs about jlo in 2017

I don’t know, it seems weird to me. I need time to process...

There are now 9 times as many smart phones in the world than there are smart people. Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it.

Like he would actually pay any fines.

I guess the Kylie branch of the Naked Kardashian franchise is officially open. Like a new 7/11 and just about as exciting.

Probably people got suspicious when they heard about something related to selfless generosity and kindness to others located in Trump Tower.

I feel so badly for anyone who works or lives anywhere near Trump tower. The next...well forever (cause lifetime secret service protection and stuff)...is going to have an extra layer of hell added to the hellscape the rest of the country will be.

When I heard that George Michael had passed away from a Facebook post, I checked three sources before I believed it to be true.

Pick up the fucking phone!! God damn, what is this Israel responded on twitter to a nuclear threat?!?! Just because Asif is tweeting does not mean you have to tweet back! For all Israel knows, dude threw his phone down right after and went to launch a bunch of shit while they’re fucking around with the @ sign and…

It’s like they decided to curb-stomp both Jesus and the Constitution at once.

Oh, you. Don’t you know God is Alanis Morissette?

It’s not like they haven’t been told ad nauseam,about no gods before me, golden idols, etc., etc. It would appear they cherry picked what they wanted to believe.

I don’t see how this is a question. It’s not even veiled.

Hmmm wasn’t a big part of the founding of the United States something to do with separation of church and state?

So god can’t look like Octavia Spencer, but can be compared to sentient cornflakes. Got it

Hmmm wasn’t a big part of the founding of the United States something to do with not living under a monarchy?

The main takeaway from this election: the bulk of Mormons genuinely believe the ethical redlines in their scriptures, the bulk of evangelicals are exactly the craven amoral fucknuts everyone else has always suspected.