Actually they have a pretty good dating service. My aunt met a very cool guy from there. Just saying.

I was all hyped until the last seven words. Thanks for the lies Mr. Enquido!

Yes it has a ring quality about it much like my anus. I also pulled that out of my butt.

That's what she said in public. In private it wasn't as nice.

In this, the Illuminati's hands see I. Yes?

I sometimes still have the nightmares.

How do we know @Papertiger isn't hiding WMD? Really, wouldn't it just be safer to invade and be wrong about it?

…he asks on an Onion offshoot internet site at a quarter to midnight on a Friday night. (if you live in an earlier time zone I slightly modify the second part of my comment.)

Am I right? Is this thing on? What is up with those bags of penuts on airplanes?

You're Thor? I'm tho Thor I can't even thee thraight!

Has anyone made the obvious joke about Brolin playing both W and Thanos or did I get here first? I don't read through the comments before I post because I'm gangster like that.

I can't wait to see the James Gunn movie version of Squirrel Girl and the sequels they have doubtlessly also already have him signed for.

Cheech and Chong in After Hours although it was more of a black comedy.

The drunkest drunk who ever drank?

Borrowing the first part of your statement:
AV CLUB
Nobody fucks.

His joke was bad and he should feel bad.

Transubstantiation is kinky!

Or the obligatory scene where they go over all the jokes Jesus told to show how hip he was.
"So JC was all 'thou art Peter and on this rock I will build my kingdom." Get it, rock, Peter? Hey ever hear the one of about 'I will make you fishers of men?' Am I right? Is this thing on?"

Jesus is cuming! Someone grab a towel.

Surf and turf.