Cavs Postgame Report: Grim, Reefer

Rex: [looks at one woman’s toes] “Are we in Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see.”

“You know what I like.”

Apparently the Ryans didn’t like it when sunglasses guy asked if they’d like to join him in some dueling banjos.  

At some point, the conversation turned sour.

You can always tell the uptight pricks when they start complaining about Subban’s “attention seeking behavior” or some such nonsense.

God forbid a likable black superstar provide us with some harmless entertainment while clearly having a small joke, all while not breaking omerta about what’s actually said on the ice.

I find it hard to believe that even Subban’s critics would be put off by this. This is so harmless as to be nonexistent.

This is just another empty gesture ESPN is using to prove they’re not too Liberal. Well, if they ever want to win ME back, they’re gonna hafta:

“Hank Williams Jr., a man who has served for decades as living proof of just how far you can go in America simply by sharing a name with your more talented father”

Finally, white people catch a break.

The truth is the NHL executive team is a group of incompetent buffoons who just happen to control a sport that can exist despite them.

I think most of the in game conspiracy theories are nonsense. The one thing that I think everyone knows is true is the lottery for Crosby was 100% rigged. EVERYONE knew he was going to Pittsburgh or the team would leave town because Penguins fans are about as loyal as Thrashers fans (what happened to them?).

Everyone talks about the offside overturn, but I swear to the ends of Goddamn Neptune I’m the only one who is more pissed about the fact Crosby got away with BLATANT interference not even 5 seconds before Malkin’s 5-on-3 goal in Game 1. That set the tone for the whole series and told me what I already thought I knew:

‘I wrote that the Caps sending Jaromir Jagr and $20 million in cash to the New York Rangers for Anson Carter in 2004 was “the worst trade in NHL history.”’

Officer: Where you coming from?

He blew a .00 or, as John Daly calls it, .3 under par.

Somewhere, Lavar Ball furiously scribbles on a sheet of paper in a folder labeled “ZO3 MEMORIAL DAY 2018 LAUNCH PLAN.”

Are we sure this isn’t a child slave ring?

SHIT FUCK DAMMIT FUCK ASS SHIT SHIT SHIT GODDAMMIT NOT FUCKING AGAIN SHIT FUCK