Toe-tally gross!

When I was 13 I used to have to melt the skin off my own hand with a blowtorch, take a picture on film and get it developed at the drugstore, and then mail copies to all my friends.

My 13 year old daughter does special fx! She’s attending a camp for it next week and I’m really excited. She’s self-taught so far so it’ll be interesting to see how/if she changes technique with instruction. Here’s her latest:

My only take away from Kate Winslet’s filmography: Never take a trip with Kate Winslet.

don’t you mean “Lord of the Flyes”?

The only thing you “didn’t mean to do” was get caught being an asshole and being held accountable.

Some sales lady told my mom she should wear Spanx under her outfit (The one she was wearing TO THE STORE) this weekend and I was LIVID

I’d help!

I hate it when people do awful things and then distance themselves by saying “That wasn’t me! That’s not who I am!”

My mom is 70 years old... if some smug bitch did this to her, I swear to god I would beat her senseless.

When this happened I felt visceral vicarious shame as a fat person who goes to the gym. I couldn’t bring myself to go into the locker room for weeks. Fuck this woman and her sorry excuses.

I am just going to leave this here and let it marinate in the shittiness of the past few months:

I can’t wait for Paul Ryan, Marcus Rubinstein, et al to come out with their courageous condemnations of this, since I know how concerned they are about mishandling of classified information. /s

It’s OK, you guys. The WaPo comment section assures me that this is FAKE NEWS.

Isn’t it called The Hammaconda?

“Jon Hamm’s penis is about the size of an obese hamster.”

1.) CNN was reporting last night that nobody in the administration expected the political blowback that occurred 0.4 seconds after the country found out about Comey’s firing. HOW? Did they honestly think that we’d all go, “Oh. Yes. Trump is clearly firing him because he was mean to Hilz. Makes sense to me.” Nobody in…

God, how FUCKING STUPID IS HE? Not only did he think firing Comey would successfully cover his ass, he thought people would be fucking happy about it. Seriously if I have to read about how anyone can be President now—this does nothing except prove that only people with adequate capabilities and experience should be…

There was an earlier moment in the Cruz/Yates exchange that really pissed me off and makes Yates’ response so much more delicious. Cruz asks Yates if she was familiar with 8 U.S.C. 1182 and she says “not at the top of my head, no.”

She utterly destroyed Ted Cruz, which was satisfying to watch. Evidently Harvard Law and Princeton can’t teach their students common sense.