Do the egg ice cubes go in the semen cocktails we discussed yesterday?

There were 250 cc's of your father in that banana stand!!!

Me (anytime I read the news of crazy/stupid southerners): Please don't let them be Texan, Please don't let them be Texan....

Dear World,

"I don’t go for black guys."

Nope

Urk urk urk urrrrk. Can the gifs make the gross go away?

Is it too late for them to cover it?

This theme should be extended for all of the downtrodden:

I haven't been this uncomfortable since I watched "Love, Actually" with my grandparents.

Does the extended dance remix feature a joke or two from Michael Richards?

Or maybe a quick piano solo by Mel Gibson?

A HITLER cannibal cop.

That child that was ignored for 30 minutes while her nanny had her nails done is probably going to grow up to be a cannibal cop now.

At a park I saw a nanny with two kids (older blonde girl and reddish haired boy) who was to busy flirting with a chimney sweep to notice both kids fell INTO a chalk painting. She ignored their cries for help, instead responding to them in gibberish words. Later, when the girl asked for her medicine, all the nanny gave…

Yeah, his teachers weren't really good enough, apparently. Someone should have at least taught him some empathy somewhere along the way...

And Billy Elliot. Let's not forget she gave us the inspiration for Billy Elliot. By, you know, robbing entire swaths of northern England and Scottish communities of their livelihoods with no options for other help.

"...one of the benefits of the exclusion of women..."

I swear to God, Scalia has become a real-life internet troll. At this point he's just saying shit to try to get a reaction out of us.

I'm going to skip past the sexism here, because the post does a good job with that topic.