Is that picture recent? That dude is pushing 80? If you told me he was 52, I wouldn’t have batted an eyelash.

Sit on the damned toilet, ya baby.

Thank you for these. I live vicariously through this couple, and, ok, Harry and Meagan, in the hopes that I too will find my very own woodworker/prince.

According to him though, he totally didn’t get owned, you got owned, you and your mother both did! HE SHIT HIS PANTS ON PURPOSE!!!

I get more of a Jason Mendoza vibe from Gronk:

Typical. Airing of grievances is the favourite event of all pansies who can’t win feats of strength. I blame your mother for letting you play with dolls as a child.

oh it’s been around for a while so it’s ok?

FOH with this sexist bullshit. Here’s a tip: if you think the woman in your life hates you for no reason, it’s not because she’s irrational, it’s because you’re a fucking asshole.

Ever think that maybe women argue with you because you’re a raging misogynistic asshole?

I have two dogs. One little who inhales her food and chokes every time and one big one who eats so slowly that it’s like she doing ‘mindful eating’. The little dog has to have a bowl like this;

At what point should this be renamed the “Deadspin Dan Snyder Award for Worst Owner in Sports”?

Have you tried something like this?

whomst

I’m confused as hell after reading the deodorant one. Did someone mix up parallel and perpendicular? Do I not understand human anatomy?

Or, just hang out with your wife and kids. That seems appropriate here.

Them having had plastic surgery (which they most certainly have, use your eyes) has absolutely no bearing on whether or not they’re good artists. They may be as wonderful as you say they are, and good for them if they are.

I don’t know, but Ashlee Simpson looks pretty good in that header picture. Good for her. I’d kinda forgotten about her.

Sorry this was the sports highlight of the day:

My fave look of the night was Gaga as a mob boss’s girlfriend from Staten Island in the 90s. And the fact that she set up her own red-carpet in DC since that’s where she was performing from? Here for it.