This reply is striking a chord with me but I'm having trouble putting my reaction into words…

I can agree with some of your points. It's definitely detrimental as an ally to come in with a "know-it-all" "Captain Save Em" attitude. However placing the onus on victims/survivors of trauma to lead the fight is problematic and potentially alleviates the responsibility of allies (i.e., in this context, Black men)…

"In fact, it’s the main reason why I almost NEVER believe a person who starts off a sentence with, “I’m not the type of woman/man/person to do this or that…” That just lets me know that you just might be the kind of person to do whatever it is that you’re trying to convince me that you won’t, but you’re hoping I…