Ah yes, the tasty ‘unwritten rules’. I remember the Cubs walking Bryce Harper 13 times in a four game series last year and getting called cowards and everything else for not pitching to him.

What we all want to really know is...did she get a gift basket afterwards?

Please tell me his walk up song is “Behind Blue Eyes”

I’m an Illinois transplant in St Pete and OMG the cowbells! Between that and the 80's hairband music between innings, it’s like the largest minor league hockey venue I’ve been to.

I’m a transplant living in St Pete and I fully expect this series to outdraw the Rays average game attendance.

“There is no such thing as bad publicity” - Dan Snyder

Why do I picture Marrone issuing this statement via poor video, in a concrete room and ending it with “I’m am being treated well here. I have been told I am not a prisoner.”

I’m gonna guess the sheets will turn up with eye holes cut into them.

+1 Noise Cancelling Headline

Unpopular take but as a Cubs fan I actually liked Baylor. He almost seemed like the underdog with that roster he was given to work with.

I can only hope that the media guide lists Quintana as Dorian Gray’s Portrait the rest of the season. The starting rotation needs a sin-eater this season.

+1 Roman Polanski

Maybe they can get Jo Arpaio to find some additional ‘labor’ to help with stadium maintenance.

+1 Louisville Slugger

I fly 40 weeks a year for work. If you’re in economy plus, feel free to recline. If you’re in economy, be ready for Thunderdome if you recline that seat asshole.

Dave Buznik: Oh my goodness. Bobby Knight. You’re in this group?

Nice to see Bud finally get his own money shot after jerking off the owners for so many years.

Hit in the head by someone’s backswing? Same reason I’m not allowed at Adventure Creek Mini-Golf anymore.

Marge Approves

Apparently, thinking about baseball didn’t keep the fireworks guy from shooting early.