It's miles beyond the schmaltz of the original. Henley has some fucking nerve telling Frank Ocean to "come up with his own ideas" when Ocean's a better songwriter and lyricist that he ever was.

Maybe this would've worked better as a video thing? The delivery is probably pretty key to making this funny, because as is I feel like I just spent 10 minutes watching someone play the "I'm not touching you" game.

"It makes some pretty problematic assumptions about monogamy as the default. There's totally this emotionally manipulative thing going on there, right?"

Imperial Bedrooms in particular is so so awful. I think Less Than Zero is very flawed but defensible, but that sequel is just terrible.

I actually kinda respect her for having the guts to pick such an objectively amazing song. It beats the "overplayed pop song that I don't really hate now that I actually think about it" pattern of most Hatesongs.

Hear me out: Danny DeVito as Andre the Giant. I'm serious– are you telling me you wouldn't watch that movie?

Those two Inside Out scenes just wrecked me. Thank god for the funny credits scenes, because I was still sobbing in my seat.

Why are they relatable? Well, I inexplicably run into John Ratzenberger every few months like clockwork, so it's such a relief to see stories about characters with the same problem.

I'd respect her more if she wrote, "look, dipshits, if you're still paying money to see me perform in 2016 you know exactly what you're in for."

He was awful, but that he was even as good as he was is a testament to how freakishly athletic and coordinated he was. It can be two things.

Disappointed Kevin Spacey playing catch on House of Cards didn't make the compilation.

So you're saying that being able to score against NBA-level defense is a rarer skill than being able to hit a curveball? I agree!

Kevin Gates is huge regionally but still a mid-level guy nationwide. His latest album was #1 nationwide for a while, so apparently they still buy albums down in Baton Rouge.

Yeah, that's what an OD is. Really easy to do if you combine it with alcohol or other drugs.

Okay, but "Still Tippin'" is always and forever the best mid-2000s one hit wonder by a Houston rapper.

The point about the sadness of the film is something I've been thinking a lot about recently. I haven't seen this yet, but I've been working my way through a bunch of New Wave films via Criterion and the deep melancholy of nearly all the films really took me by surprise. I guess it shouldn't really be a surprise…

Bioshock infinite was such a disappointment. The bullet sponge gun battles were long and completely at odds with the tone of the story they were trying to tell, and the "both sides are bad!" thing they did with the slaves still makes me seethe. I'm never gonna feel bad about participating in a slave revolt!

I'd think so too, but this feature is so consistently lackluster it's making me wonder. If people who make a living coming up with creative invective can't turn their musical hatred into a fun 500-word interview, what chance is there? I don't think it's about technical language so much as it's about describing the…

It's almost impossible to do well– it's always more fun to listen to somebody talk about things they love than things they have. Even with all the professional comedians they keep getting for the feature, the criticisms fall along the same two or three paths, and it's just never that fun to read.

My parents, who didn't let me watch R-Rated movies until I turned 17, bought me a copy of American Psycho when I was 13.