You’re terrible, Muriel...

Let’s just drop that line for any scenario. There are people literally in prison who say “and I turned out all right.”

The best response I’ve ever read to “Look, my parents spanked me and I turned out fine!” is “No, you didn’t. You think it is okay to hit little kids.”

She claimed to be the first plus sized woman to be the star of a rom com. That was not in any way true. Shove your sarcasm. Black people have a right to fight against their erasure. You sound more like a right-wing troll than someone making an honest comment. 

Are you sure you get a personal item on United? Because this is United we’re talking about, and the only thing I completely expect to get have included on a United flight is a free scorpion.

International flights are different. 

Counterpoint: Air travel is amazing. You ride on a magic metal bird that gets you quickly and safely to your destination 99.9999% of the time.  The comfort aspect sucks because generally people are cheap and are not willing to pay for nice things.

...and American and Delta offer free include beer and wine.

You know, when you think about it, Heinrich Himmler was a lot like Elie Wiesel.

But his base hates executive orders and love the constitution! Surely such a threat of executive authority will turn his base against him, right?

I’ve changed my mind. Now it’s just you I want to have deported.

I am a registered Independent and have voted Republican, Democrat in past elections

The President cannot singlehandedly amend the Constitution and anyone who’s OK with any U.S. President (I don’t care who or why) being able to needs to pack up their shit and GTFO to Chile circa 1975 as they’re clearly OK with dictatorship.

This might be the first litigation team to include laugh-cry emojis in their closing argument.

“Trump is playing the long game” HAHAHA. That’s only if you consider his attention span and foresight longer than a min or two. I can believe Putin is planning and scheming for the long haul. Putin is playing Chess while Trump is playing some Flappy Birds knockoff or another clicker game.

They can’t change to the law. They have to change the constitution. 

Oh, many reasons. I’m old. I have a family. I have no idea where he is. I don’t want to go to jail. I don’t want to seriously hurt him. Mostly because I don’t kick anyone’s ass. But I’d like to.

Jonathan Swan is a scoop boy and nothing else

My iPhone 6 a couple years ago had the lightning port start failing on it so I did what any normal American would do! Got drunk and tried to fix it. Specifically I thought I could turn it into some kind of YouTube “Drunken Repairs” series. I tore the phone apart, replaced the part, put everything back together and…

“At least it was a fruit pie,” Bryant quipped before praying for Higgins, reportedly in tears.