Gizmodo announces that CNET announced Apple’s announcement for their next announcement. 

Yeah, right? That’s worse than the penalty for shooting a black guy!!!

But it’s okay if women do it because men are bad and deserve it.

Yeah searching for “Hitler”, I had to really dive deep to find his paintings and his fantastic speaking abilities.

“Any Republican who asks themselves how they got here needs to be paying attention to what Trump is doing right now.”

Sort of like this?

He’ll never go full Howard Hughes.
Howard Hughes was actually rich.

WHY CAN’T YOU DO SOMETHING REMOTELY NORMAL FOR ONE FUCKING DAY 

As if he isn’t past that point already; the Space Force is his Spruce Moose.

Use the unbiased, unelitist Ask Jeeves!

Frankly, most of my “memories” of various pop culture icons of the 80s and early 90s are actually memories of Dana Carvey impressions.  

well in’nt thayt speyshil?!

Don’t judge. Now, if you’ll excuse me this Chardonnay isn’t going to drink itself. Happy Friday!

“there is no safe level of living” thank you professor spiegelhalter. this is going on my tombstone.

Only if you keep count.

You know - If I had to imagine the face of the guy who got fired for posting his farts... Yeah. Pretty much that guy.

I have no doubt that booze is the root cause of a lot of health problems, but I think we have much bigger fish to fry here in the United States.  I would say that obesity due to the pervasiveness and availability of unhealthy, heavily-processed food ranks much higher than this.  Sadly, I think booze plays into the…