I thought a cager was someone who masturbates thinking or looking at Nicholas Cage photos or footage.

You can’t get cornier than that. Reminds me of Chuggo.

Minor edits for accuracy.

OMG! Run!

Or...I will kill and torture a dog because my dad is Mike Huckabee.

That’s it ! I’m voting for Trump!1!!!

Why skip out on the best hit of the summer?

It’s out of our hands. This is all Satan’s fault.

Unfortunately, some kids are born with morons for parents. From the evolution perspective, it’s just thinning the herd.

The fake countenance of admiration is really easy for Michelle. She just imagines herself bashing Jim Bob’s face and head in Irreversible-style with the butt of a giant crucifix from the den.

The equivalent in 1983:

Cracka, pleeeezzz

MacDonald just had to throw shade at Rich Little. What a fucking scoundrel.

Excellent! This can apply to base moulding for hardwood floor as well.

Q-Tip has always been a classy MC. Native Tongues Forever!

American small business pickup truck goes well with U.S. brand munitions. They just want a slice of Americana.

I have chest congestion, and I nearly died laughing at this. thanks!

What??!! Gila MONSTERS are not on the list?! They can grow as big as bulldozers. Here's photo proof:

Good lord. That was a vivid and horrifying description.