Good! I’m visiting with my best friend for the first time in two months, and we’re going to drink bottles and bottles of wine.

I am drinking, “Not your father’s root beer” (aka, alcoholic root beer), wishing I had vanilla ice cream to make an alcoholic float, and watching Spiral.

So I got overwhelmed last week and didn’t answer all the lovely replies to my “OMG I am falling the fuck apart” comment, but thank you thank you THANK YOU to everyone who commented. It was amazing receiving that much love and support, and I can’t tell you all how much it meant to me. Also, while things sadly still…

Any tips for getting over an unwanted crush on a coworker? I know I should probably disengage, but he’s super funny and fun to talk to that it just makes work better. However, I don’t like for this person to be consuming so much of my headspace outside of work. Any tips would be great!

Currently drinking ice cold chardonnay and catching up on the Good Wife. Only on season 3 so no spoilers please!

No, just his career.

Sending someone to collections for having a cancer related medical bill would be an extremely dick move imo. :|

Medical debt gets a pass completely. I think the reason why I’m more forgiving of student debt is that most of the people I deal with irl have been to college and HAD to take on loans to do so. Whereas credit card debt (to me personally) might indicate crazy shopping habits which I’m wary of.

I married someone with a lot of debt. I don’t play that. So, he handed over all his financials to me and I knocked that shit out of the box. Dead On Last Payment. Done. Took a minute, but he had the security of knowing that everything was going to get paid, paid on time and paid off.

I don’t know, seems legit. The person on my facebook feed that talks about bulletproof coffee all the time is also someone who really likes essential oils and homeopathy and also has Really Big Opinions about auras. So.

WHAT

In college once I woke up and realized my roommate’s boyfriend was about to pee in our closet during a blackout. I screamed and she jumped up and steered him to the bathroom where he apparently peed in the right spot, then passed on out the floor with his head right in front of the toilet. An hour later, I needed to…

—That was it. I was DONE. “No,” I say. “It’s about a woman who loses her shit on an airplane and pokes her obnoxious seatmate’s eyes out with her thumbs.”—

I have to admit, I’ve totally read printouts of slash fiction on planes before. But I kept them in a notebook angled so my neighbor couldn’t see, and God knows I never took breaks to go masturbate. I was pretty amused once when I ended up reading slash while seated next to priest reading the bible, though.

I was in training in Wilkes-Barre, PA and was flying to my fiance’s graduation. I was worried about missing flights (I had connections) , so I got there early. I was sitting at the gate reading, and this traveling salesman walks up, sits next to me (there was literally no one else there) and says, “looks like it’s me…

A few years ago, I was in the middle seat on a crowded flight. This massive dude ambles down the aisle and plops next to me. Bad start. The second we’re in the air, he reaches into his briefcase and brings out this incredibly worn manila folder. It has so many overlapping stains (coffee? alcohol? organic matter?) you…

Different kind of worst, but...

I spent a seven hour flight stuck next to a cruise ship magician who was like Gob from arrested development but without the suave charm goodness of heart. He negged me constantly and kept mentioning that his “hot Lebanese wife” told him to go out and have sex with anyone he wanted because she as six months pregnant…

I mean I can’t think about this story without laughing but I imagine others on the plane thought it was awful.

There was this adorable little pigtailed girl who was I feel like around 4 years old...? The plane takes off, and like she looks really nervous all of the sudden and her parents are comforting her and telling…

On a flight from Chicago to Atlanta someone watched a documentary on their laptop about a commercial flight that crashed and killed everyone on board. Sounds like a skit from a tv show, but it’s true.