I laughed and then cried because this is our new reality

Of course! So much gold leaf! The most! It’s not a good day unless Trump craps gold into his gold toilet in his gold bathroom where he sometimes takes golden showers!

All in gold, of course.

My guess? Trump wanted a life-sized statue of himself on a rearing war horse, in cake, and it took until then to talk him down from that demand.

Who waits this long? People who have no fuckin’ clue that they were going to win or what it is they actually won! That’s who!

I can’t wait till he host dinners at the White House. Nobody will remember to plan a menu so they’ll have to order catering from Olive Garden. Or maybe some kind of party sub with chips. Wait, KFC, how could I not even figure that one out? I’m embarrassed.

The original planning manual called for strudel, but they thought that was a little too on-the-nose.

When you have no knowledge of or respect for the process of getting things done, you don’t think about the needs of those who are doing the heavy lifting.

Who waits last minute to order a cake this size for such a public event? Does not one person working for him have an original idea?