Worse, he started at a ritzy prep school (which usually recruit ringers for their football teams), then got sent (aka expelled from ritzy school) to an obscure all-boys military school (seriously, it’s not even considered the best all-boys military school in that 50 mile radius). He probably was on some teams — as…

Seriously, Livinia, if you ask me one more time if I want to get sloppy on sherry and trawl for stevadores....

Why Euphronia! You've mastered the art of being ambulatory while being perfectly pyramidal! Bitch, you cray!

Ladies, look at Lisbeth. She dares leave her salon with only seven layers of crinolines! Whore.

Well, motherhood was fun....

Bitch please. This coiffure took hours, and seven gallons of shellac and egg yokes. I cannot fathom why none of youse brought a parasol, in case it rains in here.

Thanks to my portable lavatory, I can totally throw a deuce under here an no one is the wiser!

did someone say steak frites!?

when I grow up I want to be a bustler

bustlers gotta bustle baby

“Hold on, there’s a bee on top of your head! Don’t move... okay, it’s gone now.”

“So help me, he’d better bring me back something besides syphilis this time...”

What they are all saying:

"Does my butt look too small in this bustle?"

I think I’ve read this romance novel plot a gazillion times, and loved every second of it.

No one goes to school in Bath. Bath is where you go to escort your maiden aunt who’s suffering from ill humors and must take in the air, but needs a companion other than her over indulged spaniel Mr. Powderhauser and her dour ladies maid Frida. If she asks you to go, you must, because you have no fortune of your own,…

“1875. “He sent you a sketch of his WHAT????””

We need more more fashion plate captions like these - these are great. :D

Photoshop of horrors, 1832 edition.

I’m bringing back “taking liberties” if it’s the last thing I do