(which was actually not true; Captain Marvel takes places in 1995, two years after the ban on women combat fighters was lifted and the first female combat pilot Martha McSally (R-Ariz.) flew a mission in ’95)

This is a really well written, clear, thoughtful piece that put into words many feelings I couldn’t quite articulate about this kind of accusation.

I also haven’t cared about being pregnant (which I am now), but we did IVF because it was less expensive and more likely to result in us having a child faster than adoption. Adoption is awesome, but agreed that there is nothing “just” about it! Also congrats on your kid! Glad you could make your family!

Thank you! Also - not necessarily cheaper. We just recently adopted. It was incredibly difficult. We spent several years trying to go through our state foster care system (who lost our paperwork NUMEROUS times) before giving up and going private. It can get expensive. You can face numerous rejections/false starts/etc.…

I hate when people say “you should JUST adopt.” As an adoptive parent, there is no “just” about the adoption process. It’s emotionally grueling and can be even more expensive than fertility treatments. I mean, I, personally, have never had a desire to be pregnant. I’m totally in love with my kid and that’s great for…

Yeah, I’m seriously grossed out by the people who keep commenting on iterations of this story to suggest that this woman would obviously prefer a biological child to her adopted children. Two of my closest friends are siblings from a family in which the children, in order from oldest to youngest, are adopted,…

Not everybody wants to adopt and that’s ok. Also adoption is a crazy process that some people may not feel cut out for. And that’s ok too.

Can we just get it in our heads that it is not solely the duty of infertile people to carry the burden of our foster care systems? This woman has already adopted three anyways, but it seems like whenever an infertile person seeks to birth a biological child there are a bunch of people just waving their hands around…

And now I’m picturing an interesting science fiction world in which anyone who wants children is forced to adopt, and the only legal pregnancies are those which can be proven to be accidental.

Have you tried? I have. Turns out that spending fifty thousand dollars (thus far) and being poked and prodded for a year to try to get pregnant on my own is far cheaper and less emotionally challenging.

I’m sorry you’re a judgy asshole who shits on women’s choices.