If you’re quoting Jon Heyman to make your point, you don’t have a point. He is almost a caricature of the DERP DERP I DON’T NEED NO FANCY STATS I USE MY EYES AND MY GUT sportswriter.

Or you could admit how foolish it is to consider a professional baseball player who has no reason to own a mitt. A DH usually has four opportunities to affect the game, less than NFL placekickers.

Counterpoint: Barry Switzer won a friggin’ Super Bowl, and he’s as dumb as a box of hammers.

I am impressed with how timely this issue is! It’s not as if there’s anything else to talk about...

Why is she still A Thing? (Why was she ever A Thing?) What a loathsome bipedal mammal.

I can only assume Neil Gorsuch barged in to mansplain the issue to her.

I don’t follow... Anyway, can you tell me if America is great again?

I worked in Saudi. Men there wax poetic talking about their falcons (ok) and camels (not so much).

I worked in Saudi for years. They do in fact fuck camels. They do brag about the beauty of their camels. Women are not allowed to speak to men outside the family, so until they get married, the men must find company elsewhere.

Easy, there. It takes a lot of time and money to look that ridiculous.

Roy Moore at the mall.

You know what is also interesting? Nazis. And Ebola. And child pornography.

Did Texas Senator Ted Cruz appear on the list?

Is this the same as diversity?

Heh. As if she can read.

I love the way elucidate your argument, steadily meting out your points to build an unassailable fortress of evidence. This is a near-perfect example of why political debate in 2017 is so enlightening and lively.

Why do you want to improve his properties?

It’s like having your wedding reception at... a Trump hotel.

Unless the boss is eating it, in which case it’s served with a bottle of ketchup and a side of tater tots.

Boston fans are insufferable but Philly fans are dangerous.