Why the Pete Sampras dig? I guess you didn’t have the, um, pleasure of watching robotic baseline bangers like Lendl and Wilander.

If he wants the NCAA to leave him alone, he just needs to rape someone.

Must be something in the water.

Thanks. I know my English isn’t the best. Critics say the education system in my native Nambia is nonexistent!

I love this comment so much. I find odd pride in reading a Jezebel headline and thinking, “I have no idea who these people are. Next story.”

First you let the women become officers. Then the gays want to marry, then it’s bestiality and child molestation, and the next thing you know we’re letting a horse marry a refrigerator. Wait... women have been officers for years and the military still functions? Carry on, then.

To be fair, “public understanding” of just about anything is hazy these days. Seven percent of MURCANs believe chocolate milk comes from brown cows.

Egads, those uniforms... Do they know we can see them?

I would rather hear a guy talk about digestive irregularity than his fantasy football team.

I think the -hole suffix makes anything funny.

I’ve been following the Australian SSM “debate”. Horrifying.

Oh wow, a Brit lecturing Americans on proper English. Ground-breaking stuff. Is the next post on aluminium?

He had no soul when he emerged as a larva from his mother’s carapace.

We are being a bit impatient. I’m sure he’ll get the hang of this president thing in his third or fourth term... I wonder if you’re chimney guy’s company allowed him eight months of hourly fuckups.

If he’s as rich as he claims to be, and if this is really witch hunt, then why would he take money from people who will support him no matter what — oh, riiiggghhhht.

I’ll drink to that.

How short your memory is. You’ve conveniently forgotten that a mere three years ago Obama was getting roasted in the press for wearing a tan suit. If we can survive that, we can get through anything.

He is just dying to push the launch button so he can brag about causing the biggest explosion in history.

Fuck him. He knew what he was signing up for.

Why is he on TV? He’s so spastic he looks like a crack addict dodging a fire hose. Do tell me more about this liberal media I hear so much about...