I live overseas now, but I’m a native Marylander. Grew up in Carroll County. Or, as the locals say, Curl Counny, Merlin. I was embarrassed when my high school made international news this year for all the wrong reasons. So this is good to see.

Conservatives are passionate about states’ rights, except when they aren’t.

With much of what does, I ask, can he do that? Does he have the authority to fire Robert Mueller, for instance?

Is your friend black or white?

Almost half of Trump supporters think it’s ok to bodyslam a journalist. This is not from The Onion. We are WAAYYYYY past parody at this point.

He’s been impeachable under the emoluments clause since the moment he took the oath of office. He’s not that he’s in violation of the Consitution, it’s that he’s flamboyantly, brazenly in violation of the Constitution. Not only are they not trying to hide it, they’re flaunting it. But the Trumpistanis don’t care. That…

As John Oliver pointed out, at this point in Obama’s presidency he was getting skewered by The Fringe for eating spicy mustard on hamburger.

Orwellian doublespeak is already used. The House introduced a law called the Hearing Protection Act. For homes near airports? To reduce noise pollution in inner cities? No, to make it easier for people to buy silencers for guns. Attempts to ban abortion are always framed as a women’s health issue. And as a rule, if…

Thewlis is brilliant. Who would have thought that a longwinded character with bad fashion sense and even worse teeth could be so terrifying? All he does is talk, and yet every word carries an implied threat.

It all depends on his knees. Last season he looked like he was on his way out the door. This week he looked 10 years younger.

After the past two Finals I will never doubt LeBron until the trophy is hoisted.

I think it was clearly implied that the victory will go to the team that scores the most points. At least that’s how I read it.

I would love for the British press to ask him questions in extremely British English, so we can marvel at his answers to questions he didn’t understand. “Mr. President, when you say the Russians didn’t tilt the election, are you telling porkpies and a bag of trout?”

We need for him to go visit his friends in Russia, then hurt his feelings so bad he doesn’t come back.

The fact that he’s not in boarding school already lends credence to all the rumors we’ve heard about him.

A guy walks into a bar with a monkey. He walks up to the bar and I can’t remember the rest of the joke but Trump is a lying sack of shit.

That would be an upgrade in every instance.

He stole it from his father. Daddy’s upset. Hence all the grim expressions.

Having a rabid jackal eat Eric’s face is better than just about anything.

I wonder if his father could pick him out of his class’s group photo from school. “That’s not me dad. He has black hair. No, she’s a girl. No, he’s from Cameroon. No, that’s a fire extinguisher. No, that’s ok. Keep going. You’ll find me sooner or later.”