Here are some you can choose from:

He sounds exactly like someone with one year of a Duke education under his belt.

I am dead.

Papa John’s pizza, no doubt.

omg let’s buy up all the tickets for one day so that Bobby Finger will be the only one in the audience.

Holy Shit! That screenshot of Ireland looks just like a mashup of Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin from the old Spy magazine or something...

Since he is going on Sean Hannity’s show it sounds like he would rather cry with the sinners than laugh with the Saints 

I thought they were saying the Doctor Oz show wasn’t allowed to record the conversation. Which seems appropriate.

For further instruction as to capitalism in America, candy shall be strictly vetted with only these morsels such as these allowed entry.

The Browns: Like Depends, often covered in their own crap.

Same place his balls were during his interview with Trump at that NBC presidential forum last year....

If he likes dressing as a woman, that’s fine, but they always play it up like it’s a big joke. That kind of shit ain’t funny, tho.

Genuine question that I would be interested in discussing: why do we not problematize men who dress up as women for halloween when it seems pretty clear (like Matt Lauer above) the purpose is to create a cartoon-version of a woman/women? Why do we not see this as misogynistic?

Man, I feel like a vodka.

I thought she was dressed up like Sally Bowles in Cabaret.

This was not anomalous.

Right because legitimate news entities have a stellar track record handling these stories......

seemingly made up

Only 170 fans had the privilege of seeing this minute live, but thank god at least one of them had the awareness to film it.

I think many men in Hollywood may not have been powerful enough to stop Weinstein. Quentin Tarantino is not one of those men.