about which I am really trying to muster some freaking empathy.

I work in the film industry, and I have been told that if I have a chance to work on a Tom Cruise film, to do so immediately. He treats everyone so well on his films that crewmembers will rave about him for years afterwards. Like, he knows everyone’s name, makes sure everyone gets a good hotel (which is super rare)…

Her?

Who me? Couldn’t be. Then who?

Excuse me but are you suggesting that a man who was raised by a Klansman who was arrested for rioting over there being too many Catholics in the police department and who also wants to outlaw Islam, making it a centerpiece of his campaign, would also have a problem with Jews? 

OMG, the only thing I’m reading from this is “my lily white daughter picked a Jew.”

Apparently she’s doing well overseas or whatever, sort of like how people are shocked that Paris Hilton is still making insane amounts of money “DJ’ing” in Ibiza or some shit. They’re no longer relevant here but in other places there’s still a market for them.

I assume that later today “Gisele dies of laughter” will be a headline. 

It’s always good to see Lindsay Lohan in good health.

She does makeup. Of course young women/teens are into it. It’s makeup. Jeez. Youth is still just like it always has been. Not every single teen back in “the good old days” was into the Sex Pistols. In fact, l’d say a larger percentage of them weren’t. They still like fashion (different styles! shocking!) and music…

Has Markle been secretly British this whole time? What American calls a zucchini a courgette? Has she been auditioning to marry into British royalty her WHOLE LIFE perhaps???

Priyanka and Nick remind me of Cece and Schmidt on New Girl. 

“Would you like to see Tyson Beckford”—stop right there. Yes, of course I would.

I have a T Shirt that says, “Ask me how to register to vote” - because I am registering everyone I can.

He’s creepy/sad (for so many reasons though he is pushing for solar power which is great) but also like: why not just go after blonde chicks? there’s so many in LA & the Bay Area? Why is he being machiavellian about, of all things, hair color?

Your guilt makes me think it was you..

in middle school after Shaggy got big, i got a t-shirt that said ‘It Wasn’t Me’ on it and honestly i’ve stayed up at night, 31 years old now, thinking about how much i regret that decision.

On the other hand i definitely wish i still had my Kony 2012 tshirt

This is kinda mean, but I honestly thought that last pic was of Elon and his two kids.