“Well, both sides see things very differently, but you see, my side is objectively right and their side is objectively wrong.”

I’m Chinese-American, and its so funny to me how each countries media reports on the other. In China, where women could own property and divorce hundreds of years before their western counterparts, they see American restrictions on abortions and birth control, the gender pay gap, rates of sexual violence, etc as…

I haven’t seen my cat in 20 minutes. Macduff?? Macduff? Why isn’t he coming when I call???? What if he ran outside when I took the garbage out? Macduff??!! Did he get hit by a car? Omg what if a coyote comes down from the hills and snatches him? (opens door to look. Closes door) wait but what if when I opened the door…

I didn’t know they had dominatrix printers.

And here’s why it and all conservative attempts to do this kind of humor fail:

Even if most cases are male-on-female violence, it still makes sense to give women this training, too, as a way to make sure that women know their rights. If a woman is raped/assaulted, it’s probably a good thing if she knows for sure that she’s in a country where she can get help and protection, and where her…

Is it weird that I feel like this is okay? Like, it should be taught as part of language classes and middle school classes and to everyone everywhere.

What the hell? You keep whining about the hoodie! How else am I supposed to figure out what the fuck you’re upset about! If I’m wrong then by all means, explain yourself.

You’re not. I didn’t do the Santa myth with my kids even when we were a Catholic family. It always seemed creepy to me. “Here, sit on this strange man’s lap and tell him things you want and he’ll sneak into your house late at night and bring them to you.” Um, no thanks. This elf on the shelf thing takes it to a whole…

I wish for consistency - like if it’s a guy that’s chosen as athlete of the year, he should also be semi-clothed and lathered in baby oil.

Given the roadblocks in place for women to obtain abortions in Tennessee I wouldn’t be surprised if she’d tried to get one earlier and the state managed to run the clock out on her.

You obviously know a lot of very complicated words but maybe fascist and Monsanto shouldn’t be any of them.

Visually, a silver Krana is still chrome silver.

that’s basically why i said yes - because then i could be all ‘hey guys, paul ryan just fucked a dude!’ and then his party would disown him and he’d set himself on fire.

Positions 4,6 and 5,6? If 1,1 is top left.

I don’t even know if they can, but I want the victim’s families to sue the pants of the group that made those stupid videos that caused this.

“sounds like every Sia song you’ve ever heard”.. ? I haven’t listened to this track yet, but as a fan of (at the risk of sounding “hipster”) her older music, maybe give her pre-Hollywood music a listen if you’re looking for something more unique..! It’s glorious!

Yup, through process of elimination.

No but you do lose weight.

And just from this clip, it sure seems like the joke is about Cumberbatch’s character and androgyny, not “Look at these two idiots”. It wouldn’t be the first time a writer who wanted to say something awful gave the line to an idiot as cover.