It reads like my... I mean someone's KFC fanfic.

Like the one episode where a woman showed up as a guest painter and the same positive commenters immediately turned into ravening evil rapist dickheads. That was easily the low point. Bob lulled the internet into contented cooing, but when startled they reverted to normal.

No, that’s you.

Yep, it’s called taxis, uber or friend. You just pulled Pinkham’s law. Congrats.

I too hate to be “that guy”, but I’m disappointed with the encouragement of bullshit stories associating the homeless/ mentally ill with demonic possession.

I think i believe in ghosts even less after reading these. “My entire family is psychic, hawaii is a hotbed of psychic activity. Here’s the ultimate proof: Once, a crazy man on a bus said “oh you can see me”, after i stared at him for 30 minutes. I freaked out, screamed at him and threw up.”

I hate to be “that guy,” but come the fuck on. Let’s be scared of things like Ted Bundy, the Tara Calico story, the German Machuca story, Israel Keyes, that there are Lyle Steviks waiting to happen all around us, etc.

That's what they said about the pancreas and where are those people now?

Why be offended by the suggestion that a scary story may have an un-scary explanation? Sleep paralysis is a very real, well researched phenomenon and it has caused all sorts of delusions of ghosts, aliens and demons that have made their victims’ lives hell. Just finding that there is a perfectly rational, natural…

I'm not scared, because you and I know there are no ghosts. These are stories. They are invented, imagined, or the product of sleep disorders.

Is it patronizing to say there are no fairies or leprechauns or tooth fairies? I was clear that sleep paralysis is real. Sleepwalking is real. Houses can make strange and unsettling sounds. People experience real things and attribute them to things that are not real.

I’ve had sleep paralysis a LOT. It started in my early teens and I did not learn what it was until about 10 years later. So I spent a good part of my adolescence genuinely concerned that there might be an evil spirit trying to possess and take over my body. That is certainly what it vividly felt like. I’d wake up, or…

Coming here to say exactly that. I know ghost stories make for fun family lore, and I get that folks experience sleep paralysis or have homes that make strange sounds. It’s probably very fun to make up a story and enter it in this contest. But since we live in a world of logic, there’s nothing actually *frightening*…

Holy shit. Don’t do drugs at 2 am and try to Kinja, kids. This is basically meth-addled spam Engrish.

I mean, it’s glorious and bizarre, and it tippy toes right up to the line of coherence right before veering stupendously off into the night with its headlights off. Well done Claudettes dressingroom. Well done.

“THE CHURCH IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE”

My manager finally comes over and informs me that she is removing the gratuity from the bill.

There’s a new commercial on Hulu for United Methodist Churches that says “Church can happen anywhere” ...that phrase really scares me for some reason...like I’m going to wake up in my house, go downstairs, and there’s church going on.... gives me the chills.

1) EQ, not IQ. Please read comments fully before you reply to them.

I wouldn’t mind sex banners if there wasn’t so much daddy-daughter stuff. If they were just like “we like sex woohoo we are drunk heyyo!” that’d be no big, but the ones that suggest they don’t care about consent, or that they want to kidnap a bunch of freshmen girls, are creepy as fuck.

Let’s look at all the silver linings here.