This isn't anything new. After Super Bowl XXV, Scott Norwood kept shaking his head and muttering "God hates FGs".

"That's God setting it up, to make it so dramatic, so rewarding, so special," he said, as he was untied by his father Abraham.

It's okayee!! Illitterassy is nuthing too bee ashamd of!

Absolutely zero snark from me on this story. This man's clearly a victim. Anyone who saw more than one Taken movie certainly didn't do so of their own volition.

They often have to change their numbers when their phones have been taken as part of a rape investigation.

Like, why the fuck would she leave her couch there?

They would have just blocked each other, but neither one knew how.

Okay...I never put two separate comment threads on an article, but I have to this time.

Uh...did you watch Harper against the Giants? Because he and Rendon were the only guys in our lineup who bothered to show up.

That's funny, since Harper was probably the best player for the team in the NLDS. There is no player to get the Nats "over the hump." They play 162 games, only to have the season possibly end based on a best-of-5 series whose outcome is more luck than skill.

Upton: The news caught me totally off guard and I can't say that I'm particularly happy about it. And I don't agree that it will be "good for my career."

Christ, just because they traded for two black players does not mean they're now dangerous.

This shouldn't come off as much of a surprise for Chicago's media. If anyone knows about a mature virus, it's Jay Cutler.

Cutler throws out compliment to reporter. Misses by five yards.

When he goes to Arizona I'm switching teams.

This.

So you must not have watched last year.

It's less of being an apologists and more of realizing that he's not why this team is so bad.

He needed the Bears to get an OC and keep them for more than 1 season. You can't get much consistency when you completely switch up the offense every year. Especially when you throw a Martz offense in there for only 1 year.

The last thing Jay Cutler wants any part of is giving a young kid a shot.