Huh, the Glamour cover at the top left is from the same article. I wonder if the Jezebel art person realized this, or unknowingly snagged these from Google Image Search?

In a previous season, Walt bought a Challenger for his son. His wife made him take it back to the dealer. He did donuts with it in a parking lot first and accidentally crashed it into a ditch. Rather than call a tow truck, he set it on fire and watched it blow up. Then he bought his son a PT Cruiser, which is shown as…

Actually, an article in the same paper three days later shows that Farmer Beaton's sons died when peas that had broken their skin lodged themselves in the boys' urinary tracts and caused renal failure. The coroner is quoted as saying "Peas don't kill people, people kill people who can't pee peas."

Try a "The Big Bang" joke instead.

Not to mention... SPACE MADNESS.

I thought the best decision the movies made regarding Hawkeye was not making him a standalone superhero who is brought into the Avengers, but rather a badass SHIELD agent a la the Black Widow. It obviated having to justify why a guy would go around fighting crime or whatever with a bow and arrow. Personally I hope…

I totally disagree with Jeremy Renner. Spending most of the movie as Loki's thrall actually made his character much more interesting than it would have otherwise. Without the whole guilt part, his only motivation/characterization would have been "I'm a SHIELD guy doing my job." And Black Widow would have gotten less…

It always gives me a thrill when people remember the movie Parasite. I saw it in the theater when I was a kid and it terrified me so much I couldn't sleep well for months. Just rewatched it via Netflix and found the suck fairy had been whaling on it pretty hard with her wand over the years.

This reminds me of Larry Niven's novel "A Gift From Earth." Its protagonist has the psychic power to make people's pupils contract, which has the effect that they lose focus on him and even forget about him, making him the perfect infiltrator. A down side is that he subconsciously makes women lose interest in him too.…

Actually, you're a genius. I know you're saying the writing is lazy but I think it's deliberate. The characters' personalities are not actually reversing, they're just all facing up to the opposite of who they think they are, and having to reconsider themselves in the process.

You're a genius! I don't believe for a second that anyone involved in making the movie had that in mind, but I bet your explanation is going to retroactively become canonical.

Nick Harkaway doesn't qualify since he hasn't been hella prolific yet, but if he hops to it, I can see him filling the PKD slot for Hollywood in the future. A ton of crazy ideas packed into each book, almost all of which would be trimmed away for the Hollywood adaptation.

Time for a gritty reboot!

Oh man, I had one too. It was the best, plastic overlays and all. Can't wait to revisit all those old games, in graphics that are actually worse than what the Vectrex had! (I don't have a retina iPad, maybe on those you won't see the jaggies.)

I used to feel the same way until season 4 of Heroes. (Granted, he wrote the best episode of the season, but I was counting on him to salvage the train wreck of the rest of it.)

Here's the gritty reboot of Spot, in a nice bit of viral marketing.

I got more of a Mathilda-May-space-vampire-reconstituted-from-Patrick-Stewart's-blood-in-1985's-Lifeforce vibe.

Exactly! You'd see her walking along with the poop shoes on and you'd say, "Hey pal, I see you're going for a poop! Knock 'em dead!" Then she'd be all ABORT MISSION

How would you feel about comparing a living, talented actress with a long career to liquid human feces? A condition that kills 2.6 million people a year, half of them under the age of five? Is that the kind of sensitive discretion you're looking for?