Anybody who does corporate presentations on a regular basis needs to be taking copious notes on Mimi’s accusations. Perfect for spouting out the next time the Powerpoint gets screwed up or the mic dies:

This part. It’s the same reason some folks have no trouble saying Zach Galifianakis but are stumped when pronouncing Uzo Aduba.

Woah she plagiarized Melania too? Ruthless.

I’m am the lady in glasses and she is me.

“Radical,” Islam.

That’s how I feel about Robin Wright. She was on my soap. Santa Barbara!

Ranch dressing is for city folk.

Kids can make the most emotionally mature person lose their goddamn shit. There’s a sweet spot from 4.5 to about 11-12, where kids are great for the most part.

This man has multiple mental illnesses and behavioral disorders, and there is nothing inherently wrong with that aside from the fact that they are painfully and obviously completely untreated.

I’m not one to normally armchair diagnose, but I’d be stunned if Trump didn’t have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. No, seriously, the man is a walking example of it.

/cut to the sound guy dyeing his hair and shaving off his beard in a LaGuardia restroom before his one-way flight out of the country

I’m not surprised. It has pieces of walnut shells. It was the only scrub I could find in Amman, and, so every time I use it, now, I get a hit of sandstorm and tea with anise.

Exactly, then you hit them with the terrifying monologue you composed during those hours of silent rage.

Canadian.

we are now boarding the passengers seated in the no class section of our fight.

My husband once pissed me off before a flight. I stared out the window in silence for three hours, out the bus window for one hour and then through a 30 minute information session at the hotel, before finally continuing our fight once ensconced in our room. These people need to be sentenced to a rage repression…

This is the most heartbreaking of all. I saw George in concert twice, the first time in 1987 in Honolulu when I was ten years old. The Faith album still stands as one of the greatest pop albums ever made. I know every song, every word. I saw him again in 2008, just about twenty years later, in DC. I cannot express how…

I know i’m supposed to feel bad for Ivanka, but I can’t. Fuck her. Fuck her husband. They are going to make billions off the american taxpayer and have no shame or remorse or anything resembling human emotions. I might feel the slightest bit of pity for the kids, except then I remember they’re all fucking rich and…

Hollywood is especially tough on our Asian American actors and actresses. It’s really unfair.

Having a disease isn’t a crime. Knowingly spreading it is. Stop victim blaming.