I literally broke down in tears this morning just thinking about the fact that Obama will not be our president anymore in a few months. I’m 42 years old, I turned 18 in 1992 and Bill was the first election I got to vote in, and I’m really looking forward to voting for Hillary, but Obama has been a once in a lifetime…

The drawings are called “pins”. You can think of them as brooches, for millennials! You can place them onto whatever you like.

I do not know if mine counts because I did not actually go on the date. I was stood up by a guy because before coming to pick me up, he got arrested for shop-lifting a toaster oven at K-Mart using the self-checkout machines.

I’m laughing at how shameless it is. White people sure do love stealing from Black people, huh?

On Monday I will be 53. I have an appointment for a goal-setting fitness regime with an incredibly hot and ripped instructor. I make that lady in the photo look like an Olympic diving champion. I’m going anyway. I fucking don’t care anymore. I want to get healthy. Please keep living your life like a diving champion.…

Are you familiar with Guy in Your MFA on Twitter?

This is where I fully embrace the unapologetic simplicity and beauty of GYM. TAN. LAUNDRY.

When I was in high school I tried to get a job at Hot Topic. (Back when it was goth-knock off, not whatever it is today, ‘k?) Within minutes of starting the interview I knew there was no way I was going to get hired. They made me “audition” with two guys competing for same job. The guy interviewing me was as giant…

It’s so strange that the popular narrative is so intent on making this woman into a villain. She’s makes perfectly innocuous music that a lot of people seem to dig and she’s not an obnoxious creep about her success. Where is there a problem that necessitates this?

Yes, there are many transgressions before we even get to flatforms, which would only be appropriate if the wedding and reception were outside in grass or the attendee were under the age of 22.

Can we talk about her choice to wear not only black, but also a romper, to a wedding?

She is the human embodiment of an Onion article. Like that could not be more stereotypical ‘well-meaning white’ phrasing; maybe she hangs out with Paula Deen on the weekends.

I think that might be a southern thing. I’m from the Northeast, grew up on Cape Cod, and if I saw a “No Swimming” sign I would assume it was because of strong currents or no lifeguard. Never in a million years would it occur to me that I shouldn’t swim because I might get EATEN!

All I could think when I saw the outrage is that we call little black boys who are unarmed and killed by cops “animals” and when a little black boy is in danger of a real animal, we are outraged the animal is killed. I think this shit is way more racist than anyone is talking about.

This is what Chris Rock’s Oscar monologue should have been imho. He kept it 100.

I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I 100% agree with you. Helping someone cheat is a shitty thing to do and definitely makes you a garbage person. I don’t understand where this bullshit started because being a human person makes you accountable to other humans and this not my relationship not my problem shit is…

I was privileged to have seen him live, at Coachella in 2008. He brought out The Time and Sheila E and I thought I had entered nirvana. Then he launched into Radiohead’s “Creep” and I just stood there, mouth wide open, doing that laugh/cry thing you get to do only a few times in your life. If the world had ended at…

of COURSE there’s a tennis club

I believe that Lidnsey Graham isn’t allowed to compete in the straight stand-up category

Yeah, I agree with that, I’m about her size and I generally wear a 10-12. But all the same, I don’t consider her “plus” sized, I consider her to be average. (Yes, for a MODEL, she’s “plus” sized, but she’s not a model). If we have to label everyone, maybe we need to start calling models "minus" sized.