I really hate how GMG discovered YouTube three weeks ago. 

“with the most common being bubonic, pneumonic, and septicemic”

Sorry, I had to map the subject area of concern, having ever diming memories of northeast Denver metro:

a cross between Doctor Who’s weeping angels and the woodsmen from Twin Peaks: The Return.

The music is not helping the short at all.

The hardest job she had was getting the goats to go back in the pen.

I thought about making a joke about this, but I think we've herd enough. 

Head-scratching Homer?

This is just like my dad and me, only instead of hitting home runs for large sums of money, I’m an emotionally distant borderline alcoholic who can’t communicate a lifetime full of disappointment with a disengaged, functionally absentee parent. So cool!

Fun fact: The repellent is the same. Put a dead one on a stick.  

Two stories on barfing vultures in one day?

So first it’s “Two statues in The Division 2 appear to be having sex”, and now it’s “McDonald’s cups look like people having sex”.

He’s Wes Anderson but with more blood. That’s it

My only real quibble with the Starshot program is the ‘slowing the craft down’ part that seems to be missing.

I’m usually fine with Natalie Portman’s acting but she’s much too diminutive to be an impressive Lady Thor.

I’ve never really been impressed with Portman’s acting, so when she left the franchise it wasn’t a huge loss for me. Hopefully Waititi and her will make a good team.

Here’s hoping she doesn’t phone it in like she did in Dark World.

Hello Gizmodo Commenter! I have a secret to tell you—I have been recording you through your video camera as you *ahem* give yourself pleasure while doing a split screen and recording what you’re watching.