Excuse me, you buy unshelled macadamia nuts? You need to rethink about that. 

Follow-up question: how do you still have the will to live?

Does anyone else hear a slight similarity to the speeder bikes in Star Wars? I’m okay with this.

I was just going to say every Utah Jazz team from the 90s. 

Stop using them. Just sit on the goddamn toilet.

Goddammit, surely Joe Flacco is at least elite as a top 20 boring athlete?

Man, if only they’d started talking about voter fraud or the migrant caravan instead of their shitty football teams, they’d probably be the best of friends.

But, are you a ‘dumb as finance major’?

Hey! I’m a finance major! 

8 grand for a quasi-stock Civic from over 25 years ago...

Shows nothing from the inside LOL

I mean, like, I would, but still.

I’m sorry if the joke I thought was implicit was maybe too lateral (it happens, I’m not being mean. Most of my jokes don’t land)

He got better

They don’t try to hurt people?! They blew up Vince McMahon’s limo and killed him!

Or... maybe we could stop meddling in other countries affairs?

It would be a hell of a lot cheaper, and less people would hate us.

We have two big oceans separating us from the rest of the world, and our two closest neighbors are our allies.

That being the case.... do we really need any aircraft carriers at all, or any…

SERIOUSLY!

The US Navy - and the American military in general - are bloated and oversized.

Do we really need 11 aircraft carriers - more than every other navy in the world combined?

Do we really need almost 800 military bases around the world?

Time to downsize - drastically

Agreed, 13 carriers for what.

I want roads and bridges that aren’t falling apart.