Bit of unsolicited advice...you definitely need to do more than “hey.” Women do not like “hey.” Craft a response that shows you read her profile and something in it jumped out at you...something you have in common; something that made you laugh; something that intrigues you. Go out on more of a limb than “hey.”

I totally feel you. I’ve been in two relationships for a total of 2yrs each and I’m 35. At this point, I really am looking into using a sperm donor, but I hate that I would have to do that, because I would love to start a family with someone. I just found out my ex who broke up with me like 6 yrs ago has a baby…

Twin Snakes?! Yes, yes please.

I like to add a dollop of vanilla ice cream to my scotch. It waters it down while adding a contrast of flavors that’s very interesting.

I like to add a dollop of vanilla ice cream to my scotch. It waters it down while adding a contrast of flavors…

Kirkland Signature bath tissue, white, 2 ply-30 count.

Kirkland Signature bath tissue, white, 2 ply-30 count.

I just think maybe they didn’t know how to handle their high, freaked the fuck out that one time, because they thought if they stopped thinking about breathing then they would forget to and die....Sometimes Mary doesn’t make the best first impression and looks like were just going to have to wait for most of the baby…

- Guy who’s never smoked pot.

We all know the best Pokémon is whatever your favorite is. It also doesn’t reside in a Pokéball, because it lives in your heart.

Aw! And Kate Dries is my Juicy Joey.

My little guy Mofie passed away last night, and I want to share his photo with some cat appreciaters. He made 18 years and I was able to say goodbye and that I loved him, but it didn't hurt any less

a few 20MG adderall pills are better IMHO.

Noooo, don’t be high at work, what you do in your own home with your own children exercising your good judgment there is one thing. Being high in the workplace, especially when you have other kids in your care is a really different one. Please be safe!

Nate Diaz is like your drunk older cousin who’s kinda cool but also scares the shit out of you and you hope you never end up like him.

I still remember the infamous day I got Mew at an official Nintendo event.

You play as a pothead pizza man who passes out in a haunted Chucky E Cheese and must survive till someone opens the door for you(it wasn't locked, you just forgot it was open)