You better run!

This is great news for people who love crap!

Headline needs "Ozzy Osbourne" in italics.

There's also his classic "Thank God J.D. Salinger is dead! Party tonight!" tweet.

Yeah, but how does it compare to Rock of Ages?

Wayward Pines? OK, now he's just straight up trolling.

The funniest joke for me is the one about Louise's father, whose "brilliant military career after 30 years catapulted him to the rank of corporal." That line with the photo of the super hardass military dude never fails to crack me up.

Sure it's got its moments — the moment the end credits started and the moment I ejected the DVD and dashed it to the ground!

2 Flowers 2 Attic: Incestuous Drift

Does Penthouse Forum count?

NOÉ INCEST

I think the idea is rather that, for those who find themselves for whatever reason mired in existential depression, movies (the right ones, anyway — avoid Lars von Trier) can offer a reminder of what's good about life. The "Duck Soup" scene in Hannah has Mickey, who's been tormented by thoughts of mortality and…

OH BITCHES MY BITCHES

"Everybody poops? What if you're constipated — you're not pooping then, are you, smart guy?"

In fairness, it does suck when your stupid assistant puts the unsweetened vanilla almond milk in your latte instead of the unsweetened original almond milk.

I love "Alone Again (Naturally)" because it starts out so over the top as to be comic (he gets stood up at his own wedding, and everyone's like, "wow, that sucks…bye!"), but the end of the song (about the deaths of his parents) is genuinely poignant. The emotional whiplash makes me weep every time!

"Everybody Hurts (Relative To Their Happiness Baseline)"

He'd better be willing to come pick it up, because the shipping costs would be prohibitive.

For the most seriously depressed/isolated listeners, it's actually a horrible song. It affirms that life and the world generally sucks, and it never gets better. It holds out no possibility of at least overcoming the worst of your pain — rather, it portrays life as an unending cycle of misery. It says "hold on," but…

It might be interesting if it were like A.V. Undercover, and people could choose from a list. On the other hand, I do enjoy the randomness of these selections.